Saturday, April 6, 2013



As in, I am not... I am the Straight Man Of The World. As the least funny person on the planet however, I do have a wicked sense of humor and can come up with a good observation or two, and an occasional one-liner. My parents were screamingly funny. I alas, do not have that gene. But I am woefully addicted to hilarious hijinks, stupidities, randomness and amusing and sarcastic, but cutting reviews of ineptly made blockbuster or artsy-fartsy movies that come from other people. Extra points if the movie is a horribly made science-fiction movie that looks like it was made in someone's garage and everyone chipped in 5 bucks.

I'm sure this was great, even without MST3K. Music by Autoharp and Snare Drum. Plot by Atari. Script by Commodore 64 and Sanyo-Bot.

I love and HuffPo's "Eat the Press" on Sunday mornings, hosted by the inimitable Jason Linkins because, Blargle, and lately have been hanging out at the A.V. Club. Not for all of the sparkling wit of the articles necessarily, or because I am a movie and TV show maven. It's for the reviews and of late, the comments from the readers. For instance, the A.V. Club is currently embroiled in reviewing “The Following,” with Kevin Bacon, on Fox, which originally drew me in, but other than the Baconator, the show reeks out loud. I have ended up staying for the reviews by an intrepid soul, Mr. David Sims, and the readers comments, which are hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. To the point of apoplexy. If I were ever to have a crappy Death Metal Band, I would name it “Hysteria and Apoplexy,” except now, I'll have to name it “Silly for Killing” which has become a sort of rallying cry amongst the readers' comments in this show, which also has set a sort of record of gaining 2 Fs in a row.

We are breathlessly awaiting a 3rd this week. We all have no lives apparently. But, back to funny stuff. Gina Valley, who is participating, in this A to Z Challenge is hilarious! Consistently funny. She also has the added ability of being able to confuse me more than I am already and I love enriched confusion in my life. It just adds to the hysteria, in a good way of course! Andi-Roo over at The World 4 Realz is also no slouch in the laffs department. She can write funny dialog in a way no one else can. She has a post regarding her adventures in the ER last 4th of July that I read about once a month. I want to be buried with that post. It's about a cotton Q-tip she got stuck in her ear. It's great.

Gina's post that cracked me up was about the Alphabet Song-dependency she's developed. (In DSM-V there's probably a pill for this, but no thanks, I already have several diagnoses for an alarmingly long list of things deemed unfit by society.) She has to do the whole Q, R, S, X, U, T thing. This got me laughing for several reasons. Firstly, Gina's a cracker jack edumacator and has a pack of kids and a professor hubby, and is extremely well-read and writes well, but I can relate. Even though I tested at reading, writing and comprehending at a post-doctoral level at the age of 15, I still run through A, B, C, E, F, I. See? That's messed up and I ain't fixin' it.

Secondly, I remembered the TV show “The Smoking Gun Presents the World's Dumbest” hosted by several Grade Z comedians, writers, athletes, ex-cons, etc, who demonstrate the world's idiocies with videos and their commentary. It's my guilty pleasure and I laugh like a hyena through every stupid episode, as Danny Bonaduce talks about what a dumbass he was and Gary Busey says something sort of sane. Tonya Harding is the voice of reason. This show is like "Jack Ass," only classier.

You're singing in public; you're being made fun of by these guys. You stink out loud, or have forgotten the lyrics, or your pants fell off. THAT's funny and yes, I would do that!

Guy Who's 90, Drunk and Gets Pulled Over For DUI, Sings ABC Song to Cop: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and so forth... Drunk Girl At Karaoke Chooses to Sing ABC Song, Because She Knows No Other Song?... A, A, A, (ad infinitum, even with help from a drunker friend.) The show kept returning to this; it went on for a while, but no one seemed to mind. All of this is hilarious to me and then I remembered when I first started learning to read music and I had to laugh at my own non-clue, artless behavior. Understand that this was back in the Pleistocene Era of 1966 and I was eager to learn, we'd done the whole A, B, C, D, E, F, G thing. I don't even remember my first music teacher, and in my usual way I was in a rush and was not looking at books. I was looking at my very 1st violin. I just couldn't wait to learn about the H note. I'm still waiting.

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