#ATOZCHALLENGE 2017 – LETTER “F” - FRACAS

Fracas is so appropriate because it is something that occurs with MUCH frequency here and around the Avenue, and they are usually over singularly stupid things that would occur nowhere else on the planet and they generally leave me grinning from ear-to-ear, if not just melted down into a puddle of laughter over the idiocy of the arguments; all fought with the fervor and immediacy of the saving of the Free World kind of passion that we see in the cheesiest of Hollywood Spectacles. Today, I was treated to one of those spectacles and it was priceless.

This is the building that looks like it would be the "Checkers of the Damned" from my "Hysterical Buildings" post from last year's A-to-Z Challenge.

Firstly, I had to go to one of my favorite places to drown my sorrows; my sorrows being that I had to pay my rent, which is a huge chunk of my “Disability” check, more than 1/3 and while I rusticate on the Tampa Housing Authority List, I'm stuck. I'm better off than most however, so I really can't complain. My needs are few and I'm careful, but the insecurity is real and I can't really save much, so I headed off to Checkers, where my favorite building, the “Checkers of the Damned” lies right across the street. See my post “Hysterical Buildings” from last year's A-to-Z Challenge for a description of that place. I still wonder what it was supposed to be.

courtesy:cjewords.blogspot.com      

Anyway, as I'm trying to decide what brand of grease I want to chow down on, this cat comes driving through on the wrong side. Checkers and Rallys are known for having drive-thrus on both sides, but they only go one-way. This dude just careened in from the street in his crappy Ram Pick 'em up and started driving the WRONG way thru the drive-thru, and all kinda folk were hollerin' “man, you can't do that! You goin' the wrong way, man!” Dude hollers back, “I KNOW what I'm doin'! I got dis!” Like he's soloin' a jet plane to Mars or some shit. He parks his ass all fat and happy in front of the window, facing the wrong way. The girl goes up and I can't hear what is being said, but behind me I hear “he KNOW what he doin'... He don't KNOW shit. He gonna get his ass run outta der so quick...”

I see a lot of gesturing going on between the dude and the cashier, and it gets kinda hot and heavy, like Italians at a speak-easy or something, then, she whirls around, hair flying, and SLAMS the window and goes off. Dude sits there for a moment, then he kind of wilts and drives off...

courtesy:dixinary.com      

Okay, so it wasn't a full-blown riot, but there was intense muttering for a while. The whole incident was hysterical and Mr. "I Got This" got his comeuppance for being a total cretin.

I can still hear muttering behind me; “Man thinks he GOT dis! He gonna get bitch-slapped. He don't know what direction the sun rises in the morning. . .” Murmurs of assent... I'm just laughing. Pretty soon, the dude in the crappy Ram Pick 'em up, drives up thru the drive-thru the RIGHT way and gets served by the Manager. He's very polite and very chastened. This kind of thing happens ALL the time on the Avenue; so often, that we say, ONLY ON NEBRASKA AVENUE!

courtesy:dixinary.com      

The only thing that would have made this better, would have been a full-on tackle or scrum, by the window, but hey, I'll take my chaos where I can get it!

NOTE: I described this entire incident to a very good friend of mine, who is my co-Leader in my gaming Clan. We've known each other for ten years and he's very familiar with this area and my tales. After I'd gone through this entire narrative, his comment? "And I just know this is a daily occurrence around there, isn't it?" Yup, it is! 

#A-TO-Z CHALLENGE – LETTER “F” - FLEA MARKETS!

First off, before I get started, I must apologize for my absence. My ISP, Verizon, made the “business” decision of selling all Florida accounts to Frontier, which I have never heard of. The reason I have never heard of them is because they are owned by *gasp* AOL – America On Hold. It took me three days to set up an account and pay my bill, but during that time, the internet went out. Seeing as I do not get out much during the weekends, I was stuck. Mea Culpa. I still have the same infrastructure as before and the service/speed seems to be good. I have a year left on this contract. We'll see how it goes. Time to get caught up!

Letter “F” is for Flea Markets! Flea Markets are ubiquitous on the world's landscape and they all have their own unique flavor peculiar to their part of the world. So it goes with the Flea Markets on and around Nebraska Ave. They tend to have an international flavor along with the down-home southern style of all the fried food you could possibly want to speed you on your way to your next heart attack or stroke, or just increase your waist size.

courtesly:blog.asianinny.com   

This all looks delicious! But, it's all about 9 jillion calories and it's designed to catch you at your weakest; after four hours of shopping and you're hungry and thirsty. Give me 2 of these whatever-they-ares and a 128-oz Big Gulp!

There are also many fine things to be bought at the Flea Markets, along with pets, so you can probably bring fleas home with you, inadvertantly, or advertantly, if you wish, knowing that Fluffy or Mittens is going to have to have a Flea Bath, along with shots and de-worming. People sell all kinds of things at these Flea Markets and many make a decent living doing so. These folks are a step up from the “Entrepreneurs” and many of them started out there on the streets, before they earned enough money to rent a booth for the 3 or 5-day markets that thrive around here.

Hand-raised birds for sale seem to be a big item at the International. A few people sell them and I'm not sure how much they are. Probably cheaper than buying at a pet store, but certainly expensive. You can also buy the caged variety; finches and parakeets that squawk and beep, for much less.

The International Flea Market that is on Fowler Avenue and Nebraska Avenue is huge and in an old mall and open from Wednesdays to Sundays. From the outside it doesn't look like much, but on the inside? OMG! It's heaven to Flea Market mavens and has the distinction of having a couple tie the knot there! I think that's pretty cool, really!

I'm guessing these two met at the International Flea Market and wanted to tie the knot where they met. Pretty sweet and sentimental!

You can get anything from 3 dollar sunglasses which last about 3 days to computers. The guy who has the computer boot is pretty savvy and he fixes them, too. We've spent a lot of time talking about his computers. There are lots of booths, that look like hobos just picked up a bunch of junk by the side of the road and are attempting to pass them off as tools, but they don't look like any tools I've ever seen.

For 2 or 3 dollars, you can have the coolest looking shades ever, for, er 2 or 3 days. Me? I have several pair of those heave FBI sunglasses that are dark as sin. I order mine from the same company that sells me my canes. I look like this now:

My character in RS3, SpZViolaFury, co-Leader of Clan SpiritZ. It wasn't until I got the glasses that I realized I had the same hair-do and glasses in real life. Our clan is 11 years old (10 of which I've been a member in) and we are highly respected. I am, of course, a total derp and am merely a figure-head, even if I am maxed as a combat player/slayer. 

We also have the “fun-lan” Drive-in flea market, which doubles as a Drive-in movie theater at night and functions as a flea market from Thursdays until Sundays and they have a festive neon sign they love to show everyone!

Doesn't this just scream "fun"? It really is a nice time, but I'll go there in the daytime, thank you. I'm 

The fun-lan Drive-in is currently showing Batman vs. Superman, or vice-versa and after howling your way through the movie, you can buy antiques (real ones), fresh produce and locally produced arts and crafts. It has been rated as one of USA Today's “10 Best Swap-and-Shop” places in the country and it has a carnival-like atmosphere as well. You can also buy the same carny food that we all love to chow down on, just don't overdo it, your doctor will hate you. For giggles, fun-lan has an fb page, and the comments are hilarious, especially the one about the woman and her sister who went to see “50 Shades of Grey” and were in proximity to the lone guy in his Corvette... it's worth a read.

But, this is what's going on INSIDE the building of the fun-lan! Check out the cars, and look at the band! There's an arcade and just all kinds of fun things to see, buy and do, even if you hated the movie! It is easy to see why it is the USA Today's "10 Best Swap-and-Shop" places in the country!

These are the two biggest that are closest to me that don't require some huge trek out into the outback. There is one more way out east of Nebraska, called Big Top Flea Market, but it's practically a clone of the The International, and several of the vendors will have more than one booth at each. There is another Flea Market that is note-worthy for it's very unusual items in Oldsmar, Florida, which is one county over, that my mom and I used to visit when she was alive.

But I really enjoy the International Flea Market for its Nebraska Crazy (a wedding!) and the ambience, and the fun-lan for the occasional unusual or really arty item you'll find that was made by someone local. Fresh produce grown by the denizens around here are also offered. We have a thriving Farmer's Market(s) that are supplied locally, and our little neighborhood society, V. M Ybor contributes in it's own way, which will be the subject of my next post.

#A-TO-Z CHALLENGE 2015 – LETTER “F” - FIBICH'S "DEATH WALTZ" AND THE MUSICIAN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY

Tonight was our regular symphony rehearsal for the Tampa Bay Symphony and we are currently working on Shostakovich's Symphony No. 5 (for Big Orchestra), Aaron Copland's “Lincoln Portrait” and Prokofiev's Third Piano Concerto and this is a difficult concert, so much time is spent on individual practice, although tonight I felt like a complete golem. Just insert key, wind me up, and turn me loose. I never met a pianissimo that wasn't improved by at least playing mezzo forte. This is rather unfortunate, as I'm sitting right up front. Well, shit. Even the principal cellist looked at me. I like to think I'm my very own personal panzer division on the march to Leningrad, but that's another batch of symphonies written by Shostakovich, so I'm just screwed all the way around.

Anyway, we all survived, and on the way home, remembered that I had this really boffo topic for today, but had forgotten to post earlier, oops. But, it's a howler. This is one of those things that makes the rounds every few years and it's a play on bad music that is written by overly-anal composers who insist on micro-managing and writing in every wished-for nuance, rubato dynamic and tempo change, no matter how minute, with no artistic latitude left to the musician. Thankfully, there is less and less of it, but just study this for a moment:

courtesy of and written by:Michael Stump                           

Here is a presentation by the Aurora Music Teachers' Association at the CSMTA Festival. Included are "release the penguins" and "sell the mute". Ha ha.

Last, but in no way the least, we have the “Musician's Theory of Relativity”. This is both a play on words and a sly dig at enharmonics and the confusion they cause, when you're playing in C Major and all of a sudden you find a slap-in-the-face key change to E♯ minor. You just go right ahead and enjoy that puppy; meanwhile, I'm gonna go into 2^nd position and pretend I'm playing in C Major or whatever it takes to keep my brain from frying. When you start running into double sharps and flats, you're in Richard Strauss or Alban Berg territory, so don't think you're going to go and leech off of the second violins or the cellists. They have they're own problems.

It is my understanding that Albert Einstein played the violin! I think everyone should play who wants to, but only if they're world-class physicists. Just kidding.

Anyway, it is a short post day. Tomorrow I'm going to talk about George Gershwin and class up the joint for a change! 

#A-TO-Z CHALLENGE – LETTER “F” – CRAIG FERGUSON, SCOTTISH-AMERICAN COMEDIAN

CRAIG FERGUSON

 

Craig Ferguson, born 17 May, 1962 in the Springburn district of Glasgow, Scotland, Scottish-American comedian. I knew when I chose this topic that I would write about Craig Ferguson. Born in Glasgow, Scotland, he hails from the same area as my father and his family, thus, there is already a kinship. The Wallace clan are obviously a different clan; but we separate from all other Scottish clans, with no septs, by choice and there is an historic and also a political reason for this, but that is a story for another day. That does not mean that we do not pay homage to others, nor fail to appreciate a comedic style that is partially home-grown, by Ferguson and mostly, unique to him.

This pretty much sums up a Scots festival; blue painted face. Probably a Ferguson kilt. And oh yeah! Plenty o' bagpipes!

Ferguson is a comedian who started out playing drums in rock and punk bands, first with a group called Exposure and later with a punk band called Bastards From Hell. The band re-made itself and changed its name to Dreamboys and was fronted from time to time by Peter Cipaldi, in Glasgow, from 1980 to 1982, which has had a thriving music and theater arts/comedy scene for decades. Cipaldi encouraged Ferguson to have his first go at stand-up comedy, which to Ferguson's credit, he attempted, although it was a nerve-wracking first performance.

Bing Hitler

After that, Ferguson decided to develop a character based on all of the overly-patriotic native folk-singers who seemed to infect every music festival in Scotland. The character “Bing Hitler” coined by Cipaldi and premiered in Glasgow, became a hit at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, in 1986. Ferguson went on from that to Red Dwarf [citation needed], STV's Hogmanay Show, and the 1993 One Foot in the Grave Christmas Special, One Foot in the Algarve. Also in 1993, Ferguson presented a series on Scottish Television, called Dirt Detective. He traveled throughout the country examining archaeological history, including Skara Brae and Paisley Abbey.

Ferguson also found success in musical theater as Brad Majors, playing alongside Anthony Head, who was Dr. Frank-n-Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show. He had several other shows on STV, but after the cancellation of his show The Ferguson Theory, he moved to Los Angeles, California.

                                                                                                                                                                     courtesy of: craigferguson.tumblr.com 

Nigel Wick; on the list of All-Time Terrible Bosses

There, his first U. S. role was as Logan McDonough in the short-lived ABC comedy Maybe This Time, with Betty White and Marie Osmond. He went from there to his break-out role as the mean-spirited boss, Mr. Wick, in The Drew Carey Show, who he played with an over-the-top-English accent to “make up for generations of English actors doing crap Scottish accents.” He cites James Doohan's (who was actually Canadien by birth) portrayal of Montgomery Scott on the old Star Trek series, (thereby clearing up a mystery in my household. Me Ma (she was from Edinburgh and never saw Braveheart) insisted tha' was the wurst Scots she'd ever heard, but then, she thought that the statue of William Wallace in Glasgow looked a lot like Mel Gibson, and didn't see any family resemblance to my late father. I just changed the subject, while trying not to laugh idiotically) specifically in his comedy special A Wee Bit o' Revolution.

I grew up with the Wallace standards, tartan and other paraphernalia that had been handed down over generations and knew my family's history, long before Mel Gibson concocted his version. Thank the Christ my father was in his grave when Braveheart came out.

During his off time as cast member, Ferguson devoted his time to screen-writing and produced and starred in three films, The Big Tease, Saving Grace and I'llBe There. (I've seen The Big Tease and it's a tour-de-force of satire; documentaries, hair stylists and the Big Contest, complete with all of the back-stage ravings! A very funny movie, as is Saving Grace, about an English widow who turns to some, um, illegal agriculture as a way to save her town.)

 

This Celtic symbol is in honor of his mother, who is of Irish heritage.

In December 2004, it was announced that Ferguson, would take over from Craig Killborn, following the David Letterman show on CBS's, The Late, Late Show. His first show as host aired on February 5, 2005. By May of 2008, Ben Alba, an American television historian and authority on U. S. Talk shows said that Ferguson was “making his own mark, taking the TV monologue to new levels with an underlying story. But. . . he is only just starting. It is the immigrant experience.”

Craig Ferguson Rants on His Staff

 

That it is. I watched when Ferguson became a U.S. Citizen and have watched him as he takes pride in his adopted country, much in the way my parents did, especially my father, who was a more devoted patriot than I, native-born can say. Craig Ferguson has won the prestigious Peabody Award, written two books, one a novel, and one, his memoirs, called American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot. The book focuses on how and why he became an American, and covers his years as a “punk rocker, dancer, bouncer and construction worker as well as the rise of his career as a comic.

Clan Ferguson Standard and Crest

He has held a special place in my heart because I do identify with the particular Scots looniness of his brand of comedy. It was de rigueur in my house, growing up and was also, shall we say, profane. One of the hallmarks that I did NOT touch on and that is toned down here in America or polite British society, is the peculiar use of the “f” word in the Erse or Gaelic world. If you weren't cussin' up a storm in my household by the age of oh, 11, there was something wrong. In his comedy acts, Ferguson uses profanity freely; I am well-accustomed to it and it bothers me not one whit. Here in the U. S. it is quite different, so one does as they do in Rome. But, underlying all the f-bombs are some hard truths and witty observations about the human condition. Ferguson is one of the best and most honest comics around; he wears his heart on his sleeve and he plays a might fine set o' drums!