Fracas
is so appropriate because it is something that occurs with MUCH
frequency here and around the Avenue, and they are usually over
singularly stupid things that would occur nowhere else on the planet
and they generally leave me grinning from ear-to-ear, if not just
melted down into a puddle of laughter over the idiocy of the
arguments; all fought with the fervor and immediacy of the saving of
the Free World kind of passion that we see in the cheesiest of
Hollywood Spectacles. Today, I was treated to one of those spectacles
and it was priceless.
This is the building that looks like it would be the "Checkers of the Damned" from my "Hysterical Buildings" post from last year's A-to-Z Challenge.
Firstly,
I had to go to one of my favorite places to drown my sorrows; my
sorrows being that I had to pay my rent, which is a huge chunk of my
“Disability” check, more than 1/3 and while I rusticate on the
Tampa Housing Authority List, I'm stuck. I'm better off than most
however, so I really can't complain. My needs are few and I'm
careful, but the insecurity is real and I can't really save much, so
I headed off to Checkers, where my favorite building, the “Checkers
of the Damned” lies right across the street. See my post
“Hysterical Buildings” from last year's A-to-Z Challenge for a
description of that place. I still wonder what it was supposed to be.
courtesy:cjewords.blogspot.com
Anyway,
as I'm trying to decide what brand of grease I want to chow down on,
this cat comes driving through on the wrong side. Checkers and Rallys
are known for having drive-thrus on both sides, but they only go
one-way. This dude just careened in from the street in his crappy Ram
Pick 'em up and started driving the WRONG way thru the drive-thru,
and all kinda folk were hollerin' “man, you can't do that! You
goin' the wrong way, man!” Dude hollers back, “I KNOW what I'm
doin'! I got dis!” Like he's soloin' a jet plane to Mars or some
shit. He parks his ass all fat and happy in front of the window,
facing the wrong way. The girl goes up and I can't hear what is being
said, but behind me I hear “he KNOW what he doin'... He don't KNOW
shit. He gonna get his ass run outta der so quick...”
I
see a lot of gesturing going on between the dude and the cashier, and
it gets kinda hot and heavy, like Italians at a speak-easy or
something, then, she whirls around, hair flying, and SLAMS the window
and goes off. Dude sits there for a moment, then he kind of wilts and
drives off...
courtesy:dixinary.com
Okay, so it wasn't a full-blown riot, but there was intense muttering for a while. The whole incident was hysterical and Mr. "I Got This" got his comeuppance for being a total cretin.
I
can still hear muttering behind me; “Man thinks he GOT dis! He
gonna get bitch-slapped. He don't know what direction the sun rises
in the morning. . .” Murmurs of assent... I'm just laughing. Pretty
soon, the dude in the crappy Ram Pick 'em up, drives up thru the
drive-thru the RIGHT way and gets served by the Manager. He's very
polite and very chastened. This kind of thing happens ALL the time on
the Avenue; so often, that we say, ONLY ON NEBRASKA AVENUE!
courtesy:dixinary.com
The only thing that would have made this better, would have been a full-on tackle or scrum, by the window, but hey, I'll take my chaos where I can get it!
NOTE: I described this entire incident to a very good friend of mine, who is my co-Leader in my gaming Clan. We've known each other for ten years and he's very familiar with this area and my tales. After I'd gone through this entire narrative, his comment? "And I just know this is a daily occurrence around there, isn't it?" Yup, it is!
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