Showing posts with label #AtoZChallenge 2016. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #AtoZChallenge 2016. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

#A-TO-Z-CHALLENGE – LETTER “Q” - THE QUAINT NOTION OF UNDERSTANDING THE 1ST AMENDMENT OF THE BILL OF RIGHTS OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION


I've decided that finishing the #A-to-Z-CHALLENGE on my time line isn't such a bad idea after all. This gives me the chance to not only write, or make up some nonsense about my 'hood, but also to take a look at some of the more idiotic nonsense that is going on as regards to peoples' understanding of what the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are all about in this here us. Emphasis on the “us” because I sure as HELL don't recognize this as the country of the U. S., that I was born in anymore.

The latest flap has devolved into what constitutes “patriotism”, I guess, with some people agreeing with Colin Kaepernick and others disagreeing in a very disagreeable fashion with his display of choosing NOT to stand during the National Anthem before a football game. The question is not one of patriotism and Kaepernick should be either supported or ignored, according to others' feelings. I get why he feels this way and I cannot disagree with him. But, for him to have been moved down to back-up quarterback and to be taking all of the abuse he has been given is unforgivable. He is merely stating something that he feels is wrong with our country, a right all of us share and if you don't believe me, read this, the 1st Amendment of our Bill of Rights:

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitutions prohibits the making of any law respecting and establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religions, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble, or prohibiting the petitioning for a government redress of grievances.”

This was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.

What Colin is doing is protesting; as is his RIGHT. It is our right to disagree, but not to interfere, nor to demote, nor to say stupid shit, as did Kate Moss, when she said Colin was denigrating a “symbolic song”. It's an “anthem”, meant to rouse a group, a cause, a country, and there is no symbolism in the thing. But, hey, Kate's just a hair-do. Nor is Kid Rock (and I love Kid's music, plus, he's another Michigander) correct in yelling F*ck Colin Kaepernick! during one of his concerts. If he wants to engage Colin in intelligent discourse he should. Kid, you're way smarter than that, I thought.

courtesy: gettyreuters

Colin Kaepernick has been demonstrating since the pre-season, but his message has spread and more and more athletes (not just football players) have joined him in his silent protest against the deaths of many African-Americans to police. In all fairness, many other people have died at the hands of guns: police, whites, Hispanics, children, the elderly. I live in a 'hood where my night-time Lt. regularly comes to my house on a "shots fired" call. I do not advocate for gun-control, but for stricter background checks. All lives DO matter and Kaepernick is taking a huge risk and a brave stand by doing what he is doing to START A DIALOG, not be treated like scum.

We used to have passionate discourse and disagreements in this country on both sides of the aisle, Republican and Democrat, and I guess Harold Stassen was along for the ride too, for several elections. People would have some damned heated discussions, but they ultimately led to compromises, or would at some point realize, both sides were unworkable and start over. It's what made us so strong. What kept us so flexible was the knowledge that you could walk out on any street corner, climb up on your soap box and spout just about any gibberish, with the exception of trying to foment the overthrow the government. That worked for YEARS and there's no reason to stop doing it now.

However, we're in this weird Joseph McCarthy-like era, where people are afraid to say what they really think – just look at what Reince Priebus did to his own Republican Party; by having them swear an oath of loyalty to their own party, so that they would support the EVENTUAL nominee. This has never been done in the history of any democracy and it undid the GOP, as everyone HAD to swear their fealty to Trump. No one dared say what they really thought.*


Protests, especially passive ones such as these are meant to foment a dialog. People need to look BEYOND what Colin is doing and question WHY he is doing such a thing. He certainly knows that he is not making himself popular; he's not doing this to be anyone's hero. He is trying to draw attention to a grievous wrong in this country that has just been recycled over and over and over and over and there is no relief in sight of it ending.

All of this hollering about #Blacklivesmatter, #Bluelivesmatter is just that; hollering, but I agree, it needs to be hollered. Full of sound and fury and signifying nothing. It's creating nothing but more fear on both sides, and it's a terrible fear.


Before one more person dies on ANY side to any accidental gunshot, we should all ask ourselves, “why is this young man doing this? Why is he so willingly making himself an object of controversy and derision? Why is he making people react this way?” I have an answer. He's forcing us to look at ourselves. By following his own belief that there is a problem and it's a big one I agree, he's hoping he can change other people's minds. He's hoping that maybe in his humble way, he can make us look into our hearts and see if yeah, we're not part of the problem and we take all of this way too cavalierly. He may ruin his future and his career, but by God, he's doing something he believes in. Can you say the same?

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

#IWSG JULY 2016 – CHECK-IN – ALEX'S QUESTION AND AN ANSWER


A few weeks ago, Alex Cavanaugh sent around an email to all #IWSG participants and suggested that he was going to “spice things up a bit” by asking a question for all of us to answer during the following month's check-in and for his first question, he picked a good one: “What's the best thing anyone has ever said about your writing?”

I have a great answer and it was also said to me by my mentor regarding my viola playing and it's quite an achievement, I think. But, before I answer it, I have to kind of explain the process of getting there.

We all start out learning the basics; what's excepted in music and writing and what is strictly forbidden. We learn the rules and build a foundation upon which to build our craft. Once we've done that, we then look to, or read other people that we admire and study their technique and we sort of pick and choose what we like about their practicing of their particular art, and discard what we don't care for.

We're starting to come into our own as individual artists and we start going down paths to see what works and what sucks. I've been down many a horrid path, before finding my way back to some kind of gold standard that works, yet still allows me to be me. My viola mentor worked with me one summer on the William Walton Viola Concerto, when I first came to Florida, and he had me change some of the fundamental ways I was playing and it freed me up and allowed me to express myself in ways I hadn't done before. I became a much better player and got out of my own way. When we finished at the end of the summer and I went through a run of the piece, he nodded his head, pleased. He said, “you took that piece and made it your own.” This is high praise. It wasn't William Primrose's Walton Viola Concerto, Or Patty McCarty's; it was MINE. Thank you, Ben. We worked hard on that!

This past April when we were doing the #A-to-Z Challenge, I wrote what I thought was just a little throw-away piece on the crazy entrepreneurs that pop up around here like Mayflies and disappear just as quickly. That piece can be found here. I was reading the comments, and Eden Mabee said, “Coming back here and reading these snippets in your distinctive and powerful voice reminds me of one of the real joys of blogging, Mary. Thank you.” I was just blown away. I write much the way I speak and think and often times I'm not sure I know where one leaves off and the other begins. But, again, I consider it high praise, because I've practiced enough writing/blogging and just fooling around with ideas that I'm not ill-at-ease, nor do I feel stilted or phony with it. It just happens; I'm a better “pantser” then I am a planner and all of that. But, I never realized that other people would see it as a powerful voice; I am so grateful for that; thank you, Eden!

So, to Eden and Ben, I thank you both for the love and encouragement you both have given me. I enjoy both playing and writing and am so fortunate to have the best of both worlds! 
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This is being published rather early, as I will be in Clinical Research all day tomorrow and at the Dentist most of the day on Thursday. I will be reading y'all's blog posts on Friday sometime. Have a Happy July #IWSG! 

Friday, June 17, 2016

#A-TO-Z-CHALLENGE – LETTER “P” - PUTIN'S CONDOLENCES TO ORLANDO

                                                                                                                    

            Спасибо, Россия .
Спасибо, президент Путин .

Warning: Be prepared for one long post!

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm still farting around with the A-to-Z-CHALLENGE. I'm all the way up to Letter “P”, but as per usual, my crazy life has intervened. The five kittens are all healthy and growing like weeds. The little lavender female is the most adventurous and friendliest of the bunch, although they all are friendly and sweet. The big ginger-swirl kitten had something wrong with his nose, I thought, until I realized he was just falling asleep head-first into his food dish. They're pretty well-potty trained, and are ready for the part I'm gonna dread; deciding who gets to stay and who has to go. My fixed income will not allow for five cats. I already feel like I'm feeding livestock, and on some days, I could probably plow the kitchen floor and plant crops; they're so messy. But, they're kittens, and they're just at the very tippy-point of learning to be fussy cats, (they've started grooming one another) with all the licking and preening and what not.


Once again, the Wallace gene strikes. Out of the roughly 45,000 pictures I took of these little boogers, these are the only two that show anything resembling "kitten". I have tons of murky, blurry out-of-focus pics for my nascent "Paranormal TV" career, which will start just as soon as I get back from Japan, unless I just keep going east to Novosibirsk to play in their orchestra.

But, life intervened in another very surprising and spectacular way recently. I've been playing again, as many of you know, and as it turns out, I am going to Japan in January, 2017 to play for the entire month. I signed the contract last week. I've gotten my paperwork ready for my passport and Alex and I are going to go down to the Clerk of the County Courthouse to apply. He needs to renew his passport, as his dad in the D. R. isn't getting any younger, so we're doing this together.


The last time I was in Japan, it was in the heat of August. This time, it will be winter and I am really looking forward to this. The country is gorgeous. We will NOT be playing any "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto", but a combination of well-known sound-tracks from movies on the first half of the concert and then, we will back, "well-known Japanese Matinee-type singers". Not too sure what that means, but I'm assured a fun and first-class trip! Being a red-head is a plus. We bring good luck to the Japanese. I still have no gray hair; I just dole it out to people.

Anyway, I'm glad I got a head start on this, because the entire orchestra's passports are handed over to the Japanese Embassy here, for work visas and such, and they will be returned to us, when we all meet up in Orlando, on January 2, 2017, to rehearse. And this brings me to the nut of this post.

Orlando was horrific. In a country where the horrifying seems to occur with stultifying, mind-numbing frequency and the death-toll keeps rising, each atrocity is just piled on top of one more atrocity. It doesn't surprise me in the least, that this latest massacre exceeded the death-toll, executed by a single agent, for whatever weird, twisted, although probably logical reason, to him, EVER. Most assuredly, at some point, this death-toll will be topped.


Medical teams awaiting 1st responders. I do not know if all of the survivors were treated at one center, and in a case like this, the morgue will not be overflowing, because cause of death is apparent. What is so mystifying to me, is this: in any of these tragedies, the people committing these crimes have such a burning hatred and sustain it for so long. They have to get the weapons, ammunition, and explosives (as in James Moore's case, when he booby-trapped his apartment in Aurora, CO and it took authorities about 72 hours to get into his place) and plan, then execute their plan. I'm a bit of a sociopath, when it comes to harming people, but I do it only out of necessity and have NEVER lost a night's sleep over it. I know two muggers who are still running; but I would NEVER do anything like this. My mind simply cannot conceive of doing anything remotely like this.

When this happened, people were once again, trotting out labels: “Radical Muslim”, “terrorist act”, “hate crime” (they're all hate crimes; this is the stupidest, most reductive term; like “hate” speech – meaningless), and what I think has been missed in this case, as in the Root case, but was so patently obvious in the James Moore and the Sandy Hook shootings, is mental illness. Omar Mateen was abusive to his first wife, hated African-Americans, hated women, yet had a friendship with a Drag Queen. Again, people are trying to apply a label to someone, who is so complex, you really cannot do so and do anyone, or any group of people justice. I'm not even sure this is something gun control can fix, nor is it even an argument I want to have. Both sides have their points, but, as far as background checks and all of that, even the FBI had to give up on Mateen, when an investigation went nowhere. I've survived three home invasions; the most serious one being the one where I DIDN'T have a gun, but a lamp, then six weeks later, a colleague is killed; beaten beyond recognition and there were guns in the house. I believe it's all about attitude. I can be one scary bitch if I have the incentive, and two black guys hovering over me while I was asleep, was all the incentive my lizard-brain needed to go bipolar; it was over quickly. A gun would not have made an iota of difference.

It's rather like the sex offender who, once again, in Orlando, answered his door, only to be attacked by a young man. The s. o., who had been out for 20 years and was living a quiet life and registering, because he is required to, by law, and by law, is also not given the privacy that the rest of us are given – his address is readily available via the Internet - fought back and held the young man, until the police came. When the young man was asked why he attacked the s.o. - and it turned out later, others, he said “To seek forgiveness with God for sins I have committed.” That answer right there, is reason enough to do away with the Registry and allow people who have already served sentences and are on the straight and narrow – 95% of s.o.s do not re-offend, and 90% of s.o.s are known by their victims – to live in anonymity. Even law enforcement are coming around to see this for what it is; over-reaction. Something America is good at.

What we are not so good at is equality, nor freedom, nor safety for our citizens. If anyone in our society deems it necessary to go to a social club or a place of “sanctuary” to feel safe, or to be themselves, then guess what folks? Not a damn one of us are safe or free or equal. We have become even more short-sighted about this since the campaign for the 2016 elections have heated up. Never has the country been so divided on so many courses and that is intentional. Just because I don't like what Donald Trump has to say, doesn't mean I'm going to lay one up aside the head of a Trump supporter. How stupid is that? I've created a martyr. Same thing for the idiots who are for Bernie! I like Bernie, but if he doesn't win the Candidacy for the Dems, I'm not going to start terrorizing or smacking around Hillary supporters.

courtesy: www.youtube.com

I love these assholes who say their votes don't matter, so they don't vote. Sorry pal, but you live in a country where you pay taxes and you do benefit from the goods and services of our local, State and Federal government, so yes, you are obligated to vote. It would help if you knew how the government is supposed to work, and what the three branches of the Federal Government are, and why they are set up to check and balance one another. It would also be a terrific idea if you knew what the Bill of Rights was and how it applies to your everyday life, because it does. I hate to say it, but Americans are some of the stupidest, laziest people I've ever run across, yet they are the first ones to stand up and holler about how great this Goddamned country is. Maybe 40 years ago, but not now, and not in my lifetime.

I have never seen people get so hysterical over an election and I thought 2012 was crazy. But, I digress, or got off the beaten path a bit, because this is a micro- version of what is going on in the macro- geopolitical world stage.

It is known, or should be known by Western Leaders, that Vladimir Putin is not a “regular guy” leader. Boris Yeltsin was, maybe. Mikhail Gorbachev is more of a Philosopher and his writings and his legacy that he left the world, by opening the USSR to the west reflects that, for good or ill. It was Winston Churchill, who once said of the USSR “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.” So much for Winnie.

courtesy: www.history.com

Winston Churchill. His was probably one of the most adroit and astute minds of the 20th Century. Whether it was guiding his country through World War II, and coming whisker-close to losing the war during the Battle of Britain, or negotiating with the very astute and conniving Joseph Stalin and having to be the more realistic of the pair, with both FDR and the Harry Truman, after FDR's death, Winnie was able to handle it all. 

Probably the main reason the people remained so mysterious to him, is that he was always looking at them from a great height; the geopolitical height, rather than getting down on the proletariat's level and understanding them and their lives and how they lived. Of course, he would never have been allowed to do such a thing; Stalin would never have permitted anything like that and for generations, the USSR apparatchiki strove hard to make sure that nothing but perfection ever radiated forth from the gigantic monolith that was CCCP1.


Joseph Stalin, from the SSR Georgia, born Josip Vissarionovich Djugashvili, he later changed his surname to "Stalin", Russian for "Steel". Technically, a colleague of mine, due to an education by Jesuit Priests, however, he took away the parts that he could use to manipulate and cow others around him. Lenin's last will and testament originally stated that Stalin should not even be part of the Politburo, much less Premiere of the USSR. Upon Lenin's death, Stalin had all of the copies of that last will and testament found and destroyed, and systematically over approximately a decade, he did away with everyone who had that will and testament in their possession. Paranoid in the extreme, once he had finished decimating the top leadership in the Politburo and had driven Trotsky (the Architect of the Red Army) to Mexico City, and finally assassinated in 1940, he turned to the Red Army Generals and began decimating them. When Germany attacked on June 22, 1941, Stalin had little to counter with, and had to re-build his army, as he was fighting off an invasion, that saw the Nazis as close as six city blocks from Moscow. Stalin's USSR bore the stamp of his rule, well into the 80s, until Mikhail Gorbachev began his program of first "Perestroika" (Listen) and then "Glasnost" (Openness).

courtesy:wikipedia.com

Hey! It's me again! I must admit. I'm a sucker for this old Soviet-era style of artwork. I play on Russian fb (vkomte.ru) and there are all sorts of games featuring cats in Soviet-style Navy uniforms and such. I'm an idiot.

No, you had to catch them unawares and it turned out not so hard to do, because, they were, naturally, just people. People love to talk about the things that matter to them. The KGB agent who secretly baptizes his children. The gangly teenagers, who love the western jeans given them as gifts and have learned a sort of half-assed English to match your half-assed Russian. Everyone giggles at everyone else's gaffes, because it all sounds horrible.

No one really cares, though. It's fun and you all pretend your spies, tee hee. The Babushka who yells at you when you come out of your Moscow hotel in the morning with a hangover and your viola, and no hat or scarf, thankful, that yes, you were pulled from that snowbank by “Yuri” your “guide” - read KGB-escort - who was probably drunker than you were. You double-check to make sure he's not still in the gutter. Oh! Here he is, with blintzes and hot tea! You both laugh and look away, because, you're still not sure if you're going to be in trouble when you get to rehearsal. You're not, but decide to behave after that.


I happened across this by luck; a modern-day Cossack family, serving their country. The last I had heard of this was during what we call World War II, but what is known to Russia as the Great Patriotic War. When the men and women dismounted from their horses and turned in their swords, the men went into the T-34 tanks, that were churned out by the thousands east of the Urals, and shipped west, or they flew YAK fighters and bombers against the Nazis. The women fought alongside their men; often times as "night witches" flying wooden and cloth airplanes, that had no defenses, but carried bombs to drop on the supply lines and ammo dumps of the Nazis, behind enemy lines. The witches were highly successful and the women also fought alongside in the infantry, although this was much more common in the South than in the North.

courtesy: pinterest.com 

I'm not seeing a great, big mystery here, folks. Not anywhere. The Cossacks who went to the Great Patriotic War, went in families, as they had done for generations. I believe we had families who fought together in the Civil War, and some who took up arms against one another. In the case of the Cossacks and the Russians, they really had no choice. The Waffen SS were out to destroy them all. The parallel is a bit more apt, though, due to the humane practices of General Heinz Guderian or the Wehrmacht in the South, who actually began enlisting some of the Ukrainians and Southern Russians – whom Stalin would later execute for committing treason, understandably – after the Battles of Stalingrad and Kursk.

Truly, the only thing mystifying to me, about the Russians is that they have had more than their share of misery and hardship and heartache and yet, they can be so damn happy and not just because they drink vodka, which is one letter away from their word for water. Russian mysticism is something I DO understand, and it's partly because, as my mother used to say, I'm fey. What a laugh. I'm like 71% left-brained, and not really dominated by any magical thinking, although I do have a tendency to wander off a bit, and not just rhetorically.

So, let me get to the point of this whole entire post, regarding Vladimir Putin. He called President Barack Obama, and gave the President his heartfelt condolences, regarding Orlando. People seemed stunned by this, regarding Putin's “stance” on the LGBTQ segment of the population in his own country. I think some of his own citizens may have been a little questioning, and then when they thought about it, their very Russianness took over and they went back to what they were doing.

You may remember a post I wrote on the lovely tear-drop Memorial that was commissioned by Russia and is overlooking the New York Skyline. It is in Bayonne, New Jersey and when I was researching that post, I found out some interesting things. Vladimir Putin was there when the Memorial was first dedicated, and building began, and it had already been decided to build it in Bayonne, because the majority of the Fire fighters who died in the twin collapse were from Bayonne. The Memorial also overlooks NYC when you look through the fissure where the “tear drop” dwells. President Bill Clinton was there when the Monument opened and Vladimir Putin and the Memorial's sculptor and Russia are very pleased with the results. You have to work to go and see it, and that's the point of it.

courtesy: cluesforum.info

This was written about in the Daily Mail out of the UK and it was written from the viewpoint of someone who thought that the U.S. had just put this here and not really cared about it at all. When I did some digging into why it was in this specific place and what it symbolized, I got it immediately. This is very Russian  in it's expression, placement and the spare quality of the overall look. Vladimir Putin was extremely pleased with the way it turned out, as was it's sculptor, Zurob Tsereteli and President Bill Clinton was on hand when the statue was completed and dedicated. Each victim's name is somewhere in or around the Memorial, and Mr. Putin was on hand himself as ground was broken, and building began.

This is something Putin understands; he may be very politically conservative, but he understands and does have respect for, human nature. By doing these things; he was the first Foreign Leader to call George W. Bush on 9/11, and by calling President Obama, he's showing that for whatever geopolitical crap is going on in the world, we're still the human family. Yes, Syria is a thorn, but Russia's goals there are not our goals and we would do well to remember that. Ukraine? I've said all along, that one day, they want one thing, the next something else; this is the result of several centuries of territorial conflict and inter-marrying. We have NO business being there, or advising there.

He reached out to us; that kind of moral support is indelible and invaluable. He is representing his people, and I believe expressing his own feelings – not that he's a soft, or sentimental guy, but he understands the shedding of blood in that way that Russians always seem to do, more so maybe, because of the nigh-on close to extinction they've either suffered at the hands of others, or alas, themselves, in ages past, and my experiences with Russians have always been more on the positive side than the negative. Just because our current geopolitical views aren't in harmony doesn't make the Russians or their President monsters. They are flesh-and-blood human beings. With his gesture, he is reaching out to us, and we should respond in kind.


I myself have made fun of ol' Vlad "the Impaler" Putin. Usually when he's riding a bear without a shirt on, or some other nonsense. In this case, I have to say, "Thank you, Mr. Putin". Just because I don't always agree with your politics, okay, well, most of your politics, doesn't mean that I can't recognize one person reaching out, literally and an entire country reaching out figuratively with good wishes and healing vibes. You've done it in the past. Thank you.

I'm not making excuses for the Russians, nor am I giving them a pass. All cultures and histories, are blood-soaked at some point, or another. The old adage of “those who do not learn history's lessons are doomed to repeat them,” is really a tired and worn out one, I think. We just seem to invent new ways to inflict misery upon one another. We have no farther than our own “Trail of Tears” in the U.S.'s recent past to see how evil and conniving people can be, when it comes to the extermination of those we think are beneath us.


I have heard through my little grapevine that things are not as bad for LGBT people as they seem. I don't know if I believe it, however. I do know this: there seems to be an awful lot of looking the other way and demonstrating that passes unnoticed by the "official eyes", so who knows what the hell is going on. Without being in Russia, on the ground, it's hard to believe what you're hearing. Again, I defer to Mr. Churchill on this.


Yes, Russia is having a bad time of it in Ukraine, and some of their policies in Syria have made their economy sag a bit. None of that is relevant. It's not as if the U.S. hasn't blundered into some quagmires and had her nose bloodied. President Putin is not Stalin, nor a monster; he's simply a man, the leader of Russia who is extending sympathy and wishing for a speedy recovery for the injured. Putting aside the issue with his stance on LGBTQ people, I find it a humane and reassuring gesture, coming from him and his people. Thank you, Russia. Thank you, Mr. Putin.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

#A-TO-Z CALLENGE 2016 – LETTER “O” - ORPHANED KITTENS; A FIVE-FOLD BLESSING


In what has certainly become the longest “A-to-Z Challenge” and in a crawl to the finish line (somewhere in 2017 it seems), something happened here yesterday that was so typically Nebraska Avenue, 33605 or 02, I just had to write about it.

One of the reasons I hadn't posted, or written much lately, is that I felt really bad about Mama. Because she was feral, and because she would never consent to being confined to the house, I took a chance on letting her come and go while I was away. She knew Alex and liked him, and I figured that she'd be okay with that, so I gambled. . . and came up snake-eyes.


Mama, in all of her crazy, tortoise-shell, tabby, butterscotch, I-don't-know-what-I-am glory!

You know the rest. My significant 2/3s was all for dropping everything when Alex told me she disappeared after a few days, and hadn't eaten much, and running me back up here to Tampa, and while a kind and generous gesture; typical of him, my heart told me it was already too late. She had been ill and elderly before I left. She honestly couldn't eat very much, although she wanted to. She kept looking at me with those eyes, with love. I would look back, and I felt we were saying our goodbyes.

When I first got back home, I hunted and hunted for her, crawling over every inch of space under our house, looking along the back fences (and getting sworn at, by several pissed-off neighbors) and even went so far as to search the area where she had given birth. Nothing. I tried cooking fragrant meals, which always brought her running. After going up and around the neighborhood and calling for her, I knew she wasn't coming back.

But, it took something out of me. I didn't know if I was a horrible person for not coming back, but I'd had the sneaking suspicion the end was near before I left. Alex did, too. Still, I have that kind of personality; “What if I'd stayed home? What if we had come home early?” and I hate that about myself. Part of this is because I've had so little control over most of my life, that I've made some horrible decisions. Who hasn't? But, I finally decided to quit second-guessing, and I heard that one of our neighbors on this street, had an outdoor cat, who had just had kittens, and they were Mama's descendants. I took comfort in knowing that the lady would let me have two of the three when the time came. . . then the mother cat and her kittens disappeared. . .


The 2Minit Laundry, where it really takes 75Minits to do your laundry.

Alex had me all set to go to the ASPCA, to adopt a rescue, and we talked about it on Friday, while I was trying to install some god-awful app on his god-awful tablet for the Laundromat. We're all DIY'ers around here, it seems. Alex and I get all the computer crap no one can fix. Ms. Wizard here first downloaded the app. . . to my own phone. Yeah, I'm a brainiac. There were all these people milling around and hollering and washing clothes in the 'Mat while I was trying to do this. One woman walked in the door, bitching about the constant mopping at the top of her voice, and never shut up once. 

At one point, she said, “I'm ignorin' dey kids tonight, and drinkin' !” I thought, “I think everyone else in here needs a drink RIGHT NOW after listening to you holler!” My e. t. started kicking up, because Alex's tablet is ignorant, or the keys are too small, or maybe it was a PEBCAK error. He noticed my distress and said, “Just take the damn thing home, and do it from there. This is kinda crazy.” I ran out of there with the tablet and across the street and loaded it easily. It was like the worst day working at IBM, when the Japanese couple called – these were “external” customers, not the Sales Engineers I would later support – and could barely be understood.

I tried to fix the printer the wife had sat on, and “mash buttons, but no know which ones.” That was like a 4-hour call. I fell into a coma at some point; I must have fixed it, but I'll be damned if I can remember which steps it took to do it; plus, the guy didn't want the assistance of a Japanese interpreter, so he may have just gotten fed up and said “Domo Arigato, gotohell!” and hung up.


"One o' them big ole ugly IBM printers", one customer tried to explain to me. Gee, thanks for the help, guy. That'd be really EASY to troubleshoot, except my ESP and far-sight packages in my head are out for repair right now!

But, I digress. Yesterday, I was taking a walk with another neighbor, Mercedes, and she said, “I hear you're looking for some kittens.” I said, “Yeah, I was counting on two of Olga's outdoor cat's kittens, but the cat and kits up and disappeared.” Mercedes said, “Well, I know where you can get some MORE kittens! My friend, Elsie found a cat that was run over and after taking care of the body, she went into her back yard and found five kittens on her patio.” I looked at her, and said, “Where does she live?” and Mercedes took me to Elsie's house, introduced me to her, and then returned home.


First attempt at eating. After I put their beer carton in the shower, I ran to the Dollar Store and bought Kitten Chow. They could eat it, but with difficulty. Consulting the NYC Raising Orphaned Kittens manual, I judged them to be between 3 and 4 weeks old, but they are using a little "litter pan" I set up for them, so more like between 4 and 5 weeks.

In Elsie's back yard, were 5 little kittens, between 3 and 4 weeks old, as near as I can tell. Elsie was kind of beside herself. She'd called the Humane Society, and they don't take kittens that young and Elsie knew nothing about what to do with little kittens, as she was more of a dog person. She was pacing back and forth and rather agitated. I knew right away she was a compassionate person, and cared. I sat on the patio and just observed the kittens for a few minutes.


The all ginger-swirl kitten has a fiery little temper to match. Tonight, as I picked him up to look at his face, ears and tummy, he bit me. Kitten teeth are not the MOST formidable weapon. RAWR! It was just a nip, and a moment later, he was snuggled up against my neck.

Kittens that little tend to nest, and these little guys had nowhere to nest and they were just kid of crawling around and mewling. I picked up a fine ginger-swirl kitten, who was already brawling with his siblings, and a lovely pale tortoise shell, but I kept sitting there, looking at the others, all forlorn, no mama and now, some stranger is taking two of their litter mates. Well, that wouldn't do. After a long, slow deliberation; all of two seconds, I looked up at Elsie and said, “Find me a box; I'm gonna take all of 'em!” (One of my dearest friends, Jeremy from Runescape, when I related the story to him said "Oh! Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit!" Yup. Jeremy is an angel; he and his family have fostered litters of orphaned kittens for YEARS and it's ingrained in his heart to be loving and giving; he was thrilled.)


Second foray into the kitten chow. They kind of have the profile of a mix of Yoda and the "Creeping Terror" from the movie of the same name. They just lack the radiator hoses on their faces, and tarps for bodies. Plus, they don't "eat" willing victims.

Anyway, Elsie kind of goggled at me for a moment, then said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes. I've hand-raised kittens before and I can do it now. I know this is upsetting for you.” She went back into her house and came out with a beer carton. We put all of the kittens in their beer carton, and as I was getting ready to make my goodbyes, little arms were sticking out the holes and waving around on all sides. Sometimes a head would pop out and then back in, but they weren't crying anymore. Elsie watched me for a minute as I talked to them and she said, “just a minute”, and went back into her house. She came back in an instant and said, “I know you're poor, I'm poor, we're all poor around here, but, please take this. You've done such a kindness”, and pressed a 100.00 bill into my hand. I started to cry. We hugged and I told her I'd keep her updated on their growth.

I cried all the way home, with my beer carton of kittens, their little arms flailing and a head or two bobbing up now and then, and me, really feeling my way with my cane, because I sure as hell had trouble seeing. Just another day on Nebraska Avenue.


This little lavendar tortoise-shell kitten was the first to use the little litter pan. I bought several more of these at Walmart. Things have to be scrupulously clean for the little ones. They are prey to lots of different infections and conditions. 

This morning, bright and early, Alex and I went to our nearest Walmart and I picked up plenty of supplies for the kittens. Dry kitten formula, pedialyte, lots and lots of extra wash clothes and little blankets to keep them warm in. I've gotten some good advice from people; you can take kitten chow and throw it in a blender and make a fine powder from it and mix it with the kitten formula and pedialyte. I got them little feeder bottles, but they wouldn't take the nipple, preferring to stand IN the dish and eat, so they were on they're way to being weaned.

They were also filthy, so tiny kitten baths were in order. Bathing a kitten is much, much easier than trying to bathe a cat. My Daddy and an orange tabby we had, had a running feud for years. The cat would roll in motor oil, because he knew my Daddy didn't like the smell of inorganic chemicals and then would come in the house and lie under my dad's feet. My father would sniff the air and say, “What in the hell is that smell?”, look down and find an oil-coated Oliver under him. “Gah! You need a bath!” He'd snatch Oliver up, and they'd go into the Master Bath, where I'd hear all sorts of yowling and banging and sounds of the shower curtain being torn off of it's rings and things crashing around in the bathroom. About a half-hour later, Daddy would emerge with bloodied arms and face, and a wet, disgruntled Oliver. “And THIS time, you STAY clean!” my Daddy would holler at the cat.


My mother and father, circa 1969. Oliver is lurking somewhere. I'm taking the picture. The two large dogs, are part Great Pyrenees and part-I-Forget. The little terrier was named "Waffles". The two big dogs were named (from left) Quetzelcoatl and Van Gogh. Blame my mom for those names. The dogs were wonderful, by the way. The gentleman lurking in the background is my godfather, Hank Birch. He visited us one summer, until my mom got fed up, and told him to go home and sober up.

All would be calm until the cat would be taking a shit in my mother's flower beds and my father, would go out with the can opener and rattle it. So, poor Oliver didn't know whether to finish pooping, or if he should go eat. My mom would say, “Glenn, you're in for trouble!” The next night, the whole house was awakened by a giant shriek. Oliver had jumped from the window sill down onto my father's chest while he slept. Ah, cats. They are ingenious and as Leonardo da Vinci would say “The smallest of the felines is a Masterpiece!” He wasn't kidding!


There is no shame in being poor; there is no shame in living from day to day and just trying to get along the best you can. It's how we treat one another and the world around us, that will be our legacy and that's really all that matters.

So, with my five blessings, I'm adding a PayPal button to my account on this blog. If anyone cares to donate to these little guys to get them grown properly, please feel free to do so. I will give credit here in my blog and explain where every penny goes! If not, that is fine as well. I have had a 50.00 donation from "Cat Mommy", and with her 50.00, I was able to purchase more towels, the pedialyte, extra kitten chow and formula. My thanks and love to out to you, "Cat Mommy"! I will have more pictures; hopefully not blurry ones, but remember, we're dealing with the famous Wallace “gene” here, which translates to “no picture shall be rendered understandable.” 

Monday, May 16, 2016

#A-TO-Z CHALLENGE - LETTER "N" - NEBRASKA AVE. 33602


I DO apologize for the lateness of this post. I wracked my brains over what would personify Nebraska Avenue at it's looniest and most relatable. After many starts and edits and what-nots, it never got better, until I hit upon the idea of going back to my very first posts in “Homeless Chronicles” and I think this is the right approach. What follows are several of my first posts from the homeless shelter and they are stunning in their lunacy!

POST THE ONEth 

The first person I met is the feisty little lady who is one of my roomies. I have two roommates and I tower over them both at five feet four inches. Deb is four-eleven and Opal is even smaller. Tiny ladies, both. Deb had me store my "stuff" in Holly's room, until she could help me. Holly is five one, another tiny lady and just as feisty. I was in a total daze. I had no idea where I really was, or what I was supposed to do, or where to go. I was trying to use this damned walker and was not being very successful at it; it had taken me forty-five minutes to climb three stairs. Granted, I had one-hundred and twelve pounds of crap tied to my walker, but still. . . 

I didn't want to get in anyone's way, so I just kind of parked my sorry butt on the sofa in our front lobby. D was getting dinner ready for the group of folks she cooks for and was tearing around. Someone asked her a question and I don't remember the precise exchange, but her answer was "I don't know his last name. Everyone acts like they're in the goddamned Witness Protection program here!"

I started to laugh. She did too. There have been several exchanges between other people, that are just plain bizarre and amusing. To wit:


My "rendering" of Holly. I don't even pretend I can draw or take pictures. It's even worse now with my e. t. I drew pictures of everyone at the Homeless Shelter.

There is a man in our house who is from Cameroon. I don't know his circumstances, or why he is here, but he has been a tremendous source of entertainment. At least for me...

We are all supposed to clean up in the kitchen after ourselves. Eli - from Chad - seems to think he is exempt from this little chore. But, if he doesn't get his way, he pouts. Ugh. Deb went so far as to put his dirty dishes in his bed; he straightened up for a while, then had some convenient amnesia. Well. . .

Deb hollered at him "You lazy mother-fucker! I am not the mother-fucking maid! Clean your mother-fucking dishes"! Eli is about six-four in height, D is four-eleven. Eli called the Tampa Police. The TPD should just open an annex in the back yard and call it a day. These poor people are over here at least three times a day. TPD and the EMS units could share a bungalow back there; we have a lot of attention-getting sickness, here, too. 


Eli went under the pseudonym of "Mr. C" when I was posting actively and he lived there. He's since moved, and I've run into him a few times. He's actually very nice. As Jim would say, "If ya didn't cuss, smoke or drink before you lived here? You will before you leave Happy Acres!" 

Pretend-seizures are rampant, followed closely by pretend-fainting and pretend-heart attacks. The TPD showed up and listened to Eli's story, which consisted of some mumble-garble about his "right to not be sworn at" or some sort of nonsense. The TPD officer looked at this hulking giant, and looked at little, teeny Deb. Non-plussed for a moment. Then, the Solonic edict came down.

TPD officer pointed at Deb. "You, quit saying the F-word." Pointed at Eli, "You, do your dishes." On their way out to the prowl car, the officers kindly reminded all on the front porch - where we were hiding in the curtains and thinking we were all invisible - to "do your dishes." God, I bet they can't wait to come back for a visit. What's next? "Billy stole my marbles, 'cause I called him a doodie-head?" I will add more to this drivel, but this is a hell of a lot more entertaining than reading my organ recital of ills. Heh.

POST THE TWOth 

Well, Eli has been at it again. My wonderful friend Holly had a run in with him recently. We're all still recovering from the encounter. H is one of my favorite people of all time. She is without doubt, one of the funniest, most hilariously mordant people I have ever met. She has a razor-sharp sense of the absurd and appreciates idiocies and idiots of all kinds. This whole thing started one night, when we were all sitting on the front porch, playing dice or Uno or Whist or something. Maybe it was Euchre. Well, Eli was in the kitchen, "cleaning" his dishes. This consisted of him rinsing them, and trying to stuff them in the dishwasher. The only problem; the dishwasher is almost through the rinse cycle and his dishes are dirty. Holly was sitting closest to the open window on the porch. The following conversation went like this:

Self-portrait before the eye-surgery and before my hair grew out again. I still have no depth perception. Heh.

Holly: Those dishes are clean. Don't put your dirty dishes in there.

Eli: (grunt) mumble, mumble. . . (clatter dishes around to distract H)

Holly: Ya dumbass; don't put your dirty dishes in with the clean dishes. Dumbass.

Eli: mumble, mumble... (proceeds to take Dishwasher detergent and pour it into the empty Dawn Dish Detergent bottle. Uses up all of Dishwasher detergent trying to clean dishes with dish rag)

Holly: Dumbass; that's for the Dishwashing machine, ya dumbass. You don't wash the dishes manually with that soap. Dumbass.

And so on. . .

Well, we ended up having to use shampoo to wash our own dishes until we could buy new "house" cleaning-type stuff. But I digress.

A few nights later, Holly was cooking dinner for several of us (we take turns with chores) and was finishing up the supper. Eli came into the kitchen and wanted to cook. The kitchen is small and there is very limited counter space. Holly had taken up most of the counter, but was finishing up and starting to put things away. Well, this wasn't immediate enough for Eli He apparently was King or Grand Poo-Bah or Head Tamale or Top Banana in Cameroon and expects to be obeyed IMMEDIATELY. So, he says to Holly, "I wish for counter space." Holly gawps at him, and says, "Bite me." Eli looks rather befuddled and says, "I do not wish to bite you; I wish for counter space." Mirth and hilarity ensued.

This, in a roundabout, diverting way illuminates something I have learned about myself fairly recently. Without getting saccharine, preachy and all that kind of "life's lessons learned" nonsense, I realize that I really have come to appreciate and enjoy what I have, as little as it may seem to someone else. I've had more peaceful surroundings and much more material wealth, but I was either unhappy, or ill and I never took the time to really enjoy and appreciate all the other people and things around me. Yeah, I know, boring truisms, but there it is. Ha!
POST THE THREEth 

The FEATURED RECIPE OF THE WEEK idea came to me, as I watched some of my fellow roomies (housies?) eating their various... whatevers, on the front porch, natch. I have witnessed such consumption of delicacies as Fried Lettuce, boiled macaroni with Ranch Dressing and God-knows-what-else and boiled macaroni with wine vinegar. My personal favorite is a sandwich made from oatmeal bread, peanut butter, mayo, and onion soup. Not the actual soup, mind you, just the dried-up, dehydrated soup mix sprinkled on the mayo and bread. About one-half of the tin foil package will do. It doesn't pay to overpower the peanut butter with all that dried onion soup flavor. For added savoriness, eat the reminder directly from the package, after consuming the sandwich. Yum. See below for recipe:

     2 pieces brown or oatmeal bread
     4 tsps mayo
     4 tsps peanut butter
     1 packet Lipton or house brand onion soup mix
     4 or 5 or 12 Cheez Ballz

     Place pieces of bread side by side. Using plastic spoon/fork (foon, spork?) from Checkers, gently spread peanut butter on bread with a flourish. Repeat with mayo. Sprinkle on Lipton soup mix, covering bread/spread liberally. Garnish with Cheez Ballz to taste. Enjoy.

It also helps to be on about the 45th day of a 2 month drinking binge. The sandwich only enhances that experience. I dub thee "D.T.s and J." (Delerium Tremens and Jones) without the Jelly, or the P.B.

Speaking of food, or the facsimile thereof, Jim and I were at the SweetBay supermarket last Saturday. It's within walking distance of Happy Acres, where we all reside happily as homeless persons*. Yes, the idea is oxymoronic, but it is a homeless shelter. What is the opposite of homeless, anyway? Homeful? Just wondering.

Holly and I used to tease the daylights out of Jim, because he never smiled for pictures, but would laugh and smile all day long, otherwise. He was part-Apache and Irish. God, do I miss his hilarious stories.

Anyway, Jim and I had to wait to have my prescription of happy pills or anti-psychosis pills or placebos filled and this process takes about an hour. So, we decided to indulge in our favorite pastime, playing in the store. A quick aside; several of us do not use illicit drugs, nor do we drink habitually, so we have to resort to other diversions. Playing in stores is one of our ways. We also people-watch and eat. So, on this day, we were starting out on our usual SweetBay routine in the Frozen Meats section, which is close to the pharmacy.

I was busy perusing the frozen whatsiz. I love looking at the various animal body parts that no sane person would dream of eating, at least in my view. Nestled among the assorted frozen cheeks, hooves, stomachs, tongues and tails of different types of barnyard mammals were some rather hoary looking packages of pointy things I couldn't make out. I picked up one of the frozen packages and tried to read the label.


God! I finally got him to smile! Jim was laughing at my antics when I took this picture, but I was laughing so hard at the "Chicken Paws" designation, it really wasn't that hard! It sure was a HELL of an improvement over his "Wooden Indian" face!

Because my eyes have been worse than usual, since the surgery – NOT the doc's fault; they just don't play well together -, I've learned not to trust what I see at first glance. So, I looked and then looked again longer to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was actually seeing, or something. I still didn't believe it, so I asked Jim to read the label. "Frozen Chicken. . . Fangs?" No. Then, "Frozen Chicken. .. Paws?" Yup. Immediate hilarity on my part. It was a very, very early Saturday morning and almost no one was in the Sweetbay. My laugh lit up like a siren, and the Pharmacy Department, being close to the Meat department, came over as one to see what all the hilarity was about.


. . . And this is what the hilarity is all about!

I did take several pictures of the label and the parts themselves. I'll post the pics along with some of our other shots of "daily life" just as soon as I transfer them from phone to desktop.

Well, nothing else too extraordinary to post. Just trying to keep up and chronicle this strange situation I'm in. I try not to think of it as bad or good. It's life, but a unique one. I'll try to get more posted, especially regarding the Game Show. The possibilities for mirth there are endless, or if not endless, merely mildly limited. As a conductor of the Birmingham Symphony said one day to our second violins, "When you run out of notes, stop playing." I'm glad I'm a violist. Heh.


My day to cook; the paper towels are under my arm, because they'd be stolen otherwise. I weigh maybe 90 pounds there. I weigh about 115 today. Holly took this and she's just as crappy at taking pictures as I am, or maybe I'm just on the run.