I suppose
it wouldn’t be overstating the situation if I were to mention that my life is a
tad, er, unscheduled. By this, I mean, my life’s great arc, whatever that was, has
since been forgotten in the fog of history; much like Churchill, not that I
presume to compare my life to be anything like his. Other than the fact that we
share the red hair and blue eyes, he hailed from south of the Scottish border
and had an American mother, whereas my parents held no fealty to Britain or
America. I also didn't get the brilliance with the English language, both written and oral adroitness, the Admiralty, or to be friends with FDR. On the plus side, I didn't get Gallipoli, the Exchequer mess, or Uncle Joe to try and keep out of Central Europe after WW II, either.
No, by
this time, I had planned to be playing out my “golden years” in some middling
symphony or scratching around in some orchestra or another, probably dueling it
out for 12th chair viola, with some hack kid or another. Gah!
Instead, I had a rather, um, glorious 2 careers, albeit, kind of ad-hoc, thrown
together, symphonic at times; big roaring orchestras, interspersed with smaller chamber
orchestras, lots of quartet work, and patched together a living. Because I didn’t
graduate from Curtis or Julliard, and never won a top-drawer spot in an
orchestra, as the musical cultural landscape in America and Europe changed, even a very, very good section player was
finding it hard to make a living doing, while I was young. But, I was damned if I was going
to teach music in public schools; I didn’t even get my certificate in college,
I so didn’t want to teach. If I couldn’t play, I’d starve.
I hate
the philosophy. It’s not inspiring. It’s about numbers. Teachers don’t teach;
they ceased to do that back when I was in high school. The last really good high
school music teacher I had was a Percussionist from the San Francisco Symphony
named Michael Wells. He taught us Orchestra and Music Theory, with a healthy
dose of passion. He used to tell me, “You don’t know how great you are as a
musician. Just get off your duff. Practice!” He’d get so frustrated. He died at
the age of 37, in 1980. The public music program had dwindled to the point
where he was forced to teach history and he hated it. Enough. This post is not
about that.
I’m
jumping tracks right here, right now and I apologize; I know it’s jarring. This
is my blog and anyone who has read me knows that I married another violist whom
I met on a JOB who thought that The Magic Viola Fairy would come along after we
wed and turn me into the Magic Flautist and we would Live Happily Ever After,
because he couldn’t stand the competition. Imagine his surprise and the
conflict in the house when that routine operation didn’t take place? Yeah, me
too.
Anyway, I
went back to school and majored in the closest thing possible to Viola
Performance, so I could get another degree and get the fuck away from this
fucktard ASAP; Computer Science. Yeah, I’ve always been known for my A to B
thinking. Imagine my surprise when I started taking those stupid Algebra and
Calculus and Trigonometry classes and enjoyed them. I loved the logic and the
structure of the computer systems. At last! Something I really could make sense
out of. Cool, neat stuff. It’s either on, or it’s off. Frightening, that! None
of this it’s kind of this, it’s sort of that.
One thing
I’ve always been baffled by, is how people negotiate in relationships; it’s
taken me a long, long time to get that right. I mean that sincerely. I’ve had
over 50 years to try and figure that out. I was always the nerdy kid who just
couldn’t get it right. I tried everything. I always thought I was geeky and I
am, but people tell me I’m pretty and I could trade on that. It’s not nearly
enough; it never gets to the heart of anything. It’s not me; it’s not you. It
really is just a shell. I’m not a shell. You’re not just a simulacrum. We’re
solid beings, even on the screen. That’s where the virtual becomes real for me.
That’s the beautiful intersection between math, sound, music, flesh and blood
for me.
This didn’t
start out to be serious; what I was going to tell you about was the stupid,
silly stuff I do. Even after I worked at IBM and Verizon and did all the
playing and tearing around and lived and had glorious times, I’m still having
fun and meeting wonderful people. I write and live by the seat of my pants. My
idiocies seem to all involve computer-related gaffes now. The latest? I bought
2 of The World 4 Realz Gangnam posters and I don’t care. What happened was
this: I have Amazon Prime. In an attempt to save money, I tried to cancel 1
purchase because it charged for shipping and ended up with a 2nd, so
now I have 2 galloping blue guys. Yeah, I know. Ms. wanna-be Chloe O’Brian (complete with the lovely personality,) who
adores Techno-Porn and EMP Hoo Ha. One of my own very favorite scenes in "24" is in Season 4, if I remember right, but involves the melt-down of every single system and screen in CTU.
In actuality? Not so fun, when networks crash and pissed-off engineers and secretaries are hollering and the call queue is escalating. It was about that time, I decided my services were better used in Imaginary Think-Land and Development on the road, before playing gigs. I had bosses who believed my bullshit and gave me their blessings and sent me on my happy way. I'm pretty adroit with operating systems and networking but seem to suck with buttons and software that changes curtains and furniture every 5 minutes. Now, I have 2 of these blue posters sitting here… And?
I. Don’t.
Care.
Neither.
Does. JC. We have a 2nd galloping blue guy for a present for the "Silly Dad Names Blog Now With Added Moms." Cool.
According to a statistic, since "Gangnam Style" has been out, less than 1/2 a year, we've listened to more than 2,100 years of it. Jesus has been dead longer. Think about that for a moment. I think I’ll
sit here and listen for a bit. Gangnam Style…
GAGNAM STYLE?
2 comments:
It's funny how many times life doesn't turn out as planned but does it ever for anyone? I compare it to herding cats. They'll go where they want to go and sometimes they go where you want, purely by accident. I for one abhor math and yet I ended up majoring in Information Systems. LOL. I like the Klingon version called "Oppa Klingon Style". But yes, it's scary how it's caught on been listened to so many times. Ah the alchemy of Internet memes.
Oh lordy, talk about a mash-up. What is it about the siren song of that kind of stuff that is so appealing? Back in what? 2007, 2008? When Samuel L. Jackson made his internet-driven opus "Snakes On A Plane," (Tagline: Snakes. On. A. Plane. That's it. Or SOAP) someone on StupidVideos.com did a Mash-up of "All Your Snake Are Belong to Us." I still think back on that with gibbering glee. Must check out "Oppa Klingon Style." Thanks!
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