#ROW80 1st QTR 2013 POST 1 - GOALS REDUX

I wasn’t entirely sure there was going to be a post today. Y’see I went and broke my blog yesterday. I started monkeying around with the widths. In Blogger in the “Live Blogger” settings, whatever those are, once you do that, you’re toast. At one point, instead of 2 columns, I had 3 columns and the center column was so skinny, that the rows had only one letter per row. Boy, did that suck. Legally blind, confuse-a-what, purple and black background swirls. All of the Orienteering in ROTC in High School couldn’t have found their way out of that. So, I did what any good computer science tecchy person does. I hid it for a while until I could figure it out. Actually, this just required some patience, which I have barrels of. I have a seriously sucky-looking blog, but we’ve grown together, so it’s cool. It at least works.

Can you find the title and have I become my own meme?

Today being the very, very first day of #ROW80 1^st Qtr 2013, post 1, I am going to announce my intended goals. Working within my own limitations, which I have kind of, sort of come to some hand-shake truce with. Not because of any real support from my own doctors and not to slam them, but through the wonderful support and optimism from folks and groups, like YumaBev, Jim Adams, Penny Adams, CyndeeBowen, Sherry @inspireme39, P.A.N.D.A., and National Parkinson’s Foundation. Without their wonderful presence, this would either be a different post, or non-existent.

My goals are this; I have enough material to self-publish an e-book. In five sections, early life, my study and career in music, how I ended up in computers and my career at IBM and Verizon, how I became homeless and the aftermath and my present life. I had started to try and put this all together during NaNo, but 2 things interfered.

Thing number one was a disastrous clash with some “neurologists” during a two hour appointment, which was an exercise in botched communication, frustration and humiliation, because I appeared to not “understand” what a very heavily-accented Chinese intern was directing me to perform. The attending physician, rather than greeting me upon entering the patient suite like a normal person, BARKED “why are you here?” Not convinced I wasn’t “faking," or it wasn't my bipolar symptoms I was sent away in shame. I also have Asperger; they didn't listen to me tell them that my bipolar diagnosis was in March after a psychotic break; my more severe onset of PD symptoms was in June and again, in October of last year. They were completely deaf to that. 

Convinced I was not wrong, but frustrated led to an almost-melt-down on my part that following weekend. My meltdowns are pretty spectacular. Luckily, I have a good support system; the Tampa Police Department are kind; the Tampa General Hospital ER docs rock. The attending in the ER couldn’t understand my agitation. Until we both agreed that we would agree on what we both were saying; I had an appointment the following Tuesday that had been set up in advance with my primary care doctor.

This was the previous Sunday. He couldn’t figure out why I was there. Piece by piece, I was able to tell him. He carefully noted it in my chart, as we agreed on each point. By this time, I had the worst headache of my life. This happens when I become so severely frustrated. With the tremors and the other pain from the “Parkinson’s Disease, or not-Parkinson’s Disease, that is the question,” I begin to stutter and have trouble talking. He was able to get me calmed down enough and give me an IV for the headache. I went home that night. JC was frantic.

My primary care doctor was understandably pissed, but not at me. I am on a regimen of vitamins, cinnamon, and eating. I’ve felt remarkably good, but trying to write got to be too hard and I was hating it, so I stopped shortly after that episode. I’ve had one other visit from my municipal support friends in the form of Tampa Fire Rescue. I had a little shock when my good friend decided my ex who put me in the hospital (it’s complicated) could come and stay with her.

Bam! The worst chest pains imaginable! Radiating through the center, around my back and shoulders, cold sweat, everything. I was eating scrambled eggs at the time I was talking to her. Quick! Call 911! RRRRRRRR! Blood pressure, all the whole megilla. They got nothing; I’m A-OK. JC had put an aspirin under my tongue. The eye-candy guy (and why do all the fire-guys look like a hunka hunka burnin’ love?) who had driven the red ambulance looks at my meds.

“Did you take your Xanax?” Me, sheepish. “nurm.” He says, “What? Why not?” “It makes me drowsy.” He just grins. “Ma’am, Mary, you’re supposed to take your meds and stuff.” Busted. “I’m feeling better,” I protest. “Take your pill.” Busted

So enough of that, I’ve been eating and also getting some exercise. Back to why NaNo was a bust. Two, was that I had not one clue about how to pull together any kind of novel or lengthy work. I had this idiotic idea that I should start at the beginning, but after listening to writers and authors discuss strategy, I hear myriad ways to bring their work to print. The real starting point for my story is somewhere closer to what I am assuming is the end of my life; when I was dumped off at the homeless shelter. It’s a terrific place to begin and would hook any reader. Any thoughts on that?

#ROW80 1ST QUARTER POST 2 – WITH NO PARTICULAR TOPIC IN MIND…

I have several things running through my mind, or maybe none. Today has been one of those days where I seem to have too much of something, or maybe nothing. Or if it’s something, it’s something that is so negligible in import as to be, well, negligible; minute. On the sub-atomic level. Actually, I haven’t been able to concentrate on one God-damned thing for more than 5 seconds all day. This is ADHD full out and rampant at its worst. This is about the time, the bipolar shift kicks in and I’m in that manic phase. It’s getting close to the one year anniversary of the Great, “Stay Up All of February & Have a Psychotic Break!” 

This year, I’m prepared. So, looking good with all my head meds and good vibes. This is also the same time after the psychotic break that I don’t remember along with the Bonus Mental Hospital Committal that my physical symptoms of “PD or non-PD, that is the question” (hear me, Tampa-USF-shrink-chuckleheads, hmmm?) began. They have trebled in severity since that time. The symptoms, not the chuckleheads. 

But, I’m doing great; I’m happy and I’m in a wonderful place. I have friends and I have a purpose in life. My purpose in life is to illuminate, rant, amuse and just be a general pain in the ass to whoever will be bothered to spend 5 minutes reading my blabberings. I stopped writing for a while, because, frankly, the tremors have gotten rough. Along with that, I have lots and lots of mental “fugue states” for want of a better term. I do have some dementia, too.

It makes writing a supreme pain in the ass and I was hating it. Just hating writing anything. It became this monumental struggle. What should take me 45 minutes, was taking me a day and a half. Without any type of diagnosis or treatment for neuro-muscular disorder, I can barely function at 1/10 speed. So, I pretty much stopped writing and barely visited my buddies online. I hate running around online and presenting all of this, so I just kind of drop off of the face of the earth, which isn’t right, either. But, there it is.

I’ve adopted a “regimen” of sleeping 10 or as much as 12 hours a day, which has helped me tremendously. I’ve been eating as well as I possibly can. My weight is holding at 100 lbs. I take all of my vitamins and meds. My primary doctor and my psychiatrist have been working with me and I am enrolled in a couple of these programs where the drug companies pay for the most expensive drugs. In March, I will be covered under Medicare and *fingers crossed* going to the Center of Excellence study at USF where they are funding Parkinson’s Disease studies.

So, enough of my bullshit. My friend, Sundae Rye (visit his website at: http://sundaeryestudio.com/ and follow him on Twitter @SundaeRye) and I are "pen pals" (email pals?) Sundae is one of the most gifted and out there people I’ve had the great good fortune to run across. He’s a superb writer, illustrator and designer. He's funny as hell, and spurs me to new heights of… I don’t know, lunacy? My latest is “blahbernation.” Instead of “hibernation.” So, Sundae thought that was pretty cool. He used it in such a way though, like, “The United States of Blahbernation.” So, I’m here to say now, if that shit takes off? Sundae Rye gets first dibs on it. It’s his copyright. Do check him out; his books are awesome and wonderfully skewed, as is his artwork.  

I wonder what the flag to that country would look like? The national anthem would be: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, sung in the key of E#. No words, just eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Imagine the national bird. A parakeet? Nah. A wren. Yeah, we could have fun with this.

"What? Me, blah?" or, Alfred E. Blah

That’s really about it; although I did have another one of my crazy, fun trips to my grocery store, yesterday. I must correct an omission. When I wrote the post for Thanksgiving about the pink pumpkins, I mentioned two of the men who work at the store in produce. One gentleman is named Casey and I named him. The other gentleman, who is also a very fine man is named Jim, and I omitted his name, not out of negligence, but because I didn’t know his name. For that I am sorry. I told him about that post and he read it and we finally introduced ourselves to one another. So, Jim! Thank you! You valiantly wrangled those pink pumpkins!

YEEHAA!!!!!!

I love that store and the people who work there are awesome. Jim in produce is one of the more awesome among the group. I’ve been going to that market since I was first homeless and they’ve always been terrific. I’m there 3 times a week and it’s always fun to visit. It takes me 6 hours to shop.

I’m still not too sure about what goes on in the spice aisle though. The cake and brownie mixes are also in that aisle, across from the spices, and every time I go to get some yellow cake or brownie mix, there is covert activity. This time, it was a guy whispering into a cell phone. When he saw me coming, he hung up quickly and grinned sheepishly. He sort of hovered for a minute and then said, “Where’s the complete spice?” All Spice? I asked him, trying to be helpful. Nope, he insisted there was a “complete” spice. He never did find it and left, muttering about going to Publix. Okay, guy. I do hope he found what he needed. Not too freaky, but for the fact that his twin came by, not 2 seconds later, and we had to re-enact "Ground Hog Day." I got to do the Bill Murray part. Geeze o pete. Once again, I grabbed my brownies and skipped on out of there!

So, Row 80 starts up again on the 9^th of January. I’m glad to be back at it, but I need to try and figure out what my real goals are and what I am really trying to do. I’m 57, have had 2 different careers and am not really sure what I want to do next. I don’t want to be like my father, who found himself on disability at the age of 48. I think that was mostly by his choice. He did try to go back to work after what was a crippling heart attack, but he didn’t last long in the work-a-day world. He died 11 years later, after living pretty much the way he had always lived; heedless and unaware of what his own lifestyle and incapacitation would do to those around him who loved him.

As an only child, I was crushed when he died in his sleep, unexpectedly. I was 31. But, in truth, he outlived my prediction. I had last seen him at his mother’s funeral in 1985 and I really thought he would not live out the year. He out-lasted my prediction by 1 and ½ years. When he was first out on disability, he had mentioned something about law school, which he could easily have done, as smart as he was. It would have taken him 4 years. I have been on disability for almost 2 years. I take care of myself, but really, none of us knows when our time will come. I think I just answered my own question.

Title: Deeper Meanings—Cover art from the Double Helix

Today, I’d like to talk about the meaning behind the cover art of the award-winning Double Helix series. First, let me give you a bit of background for context. The Genetic Revolution has transformed our world, and humans live alongside clones, in vitros, and mutants. An uneasy peace exists between the politically powerful humans and the genetically superior human derivatives, but that peace shatters when Zara Itani, a human mercenary whose attitude exceeds her beauty, frees Galahad, the perfect, lab-created human being, from his laboratory prison.

Danyael Sabre, an alpha empath, survived a traumatic childhood and now wants nothing more than to be left alone. Galahad’s escape, however, plunges Danyael’s life into a free fall when Danyael learns that his genetic code was used as Galahad’s physical template.

What would you do if you came face-to-face with perfection, and it looked just like you? Danyael will spend the rest of his life struggling to find the answer to that question. Zara’s dilemma, though, is quite different. How do you choose between the pinnacle of human perfection and his equally compelling, though flawed, physical template?

The first three books of the Double Helix series, Perfection Unleashed, Perfect Betrayal, and Perfect Weapon, trace the events around Galahad’s escape and its tumultuous aftermath for Danyael.

 The concept for the cover of Perfection Unleashed came from Michelangelo’s fresco, The Creation of Adam, where God reaches down to activate the spark of life in Adam. The hand in the cover of Perfection Unleashed comes directly from the fresco, but instead of connecting with a human, it touches a sparkling vial of DNA, the innocuous origins of Galahad, the perfect human being.

I took a chance with the cover of Perfection Unleashed. Its religious origins may result in some readers drawing erroneous conclusions as to its contents. The topic of genetic engineering and its potential ability to alter human beings has religious implications, but the Double Helix series focuses instead on the societal and personal impact on people living through those tumultuous times.

In Perfect Betrayal, the spotlight shifts to Danyael Sabre. Danyael, an alpha empath, is rare and coveted, and Galahad’s escape provides an impetus for powerful men and women to seize Danyael for their opposing ends.

Perfect Betrayal is the flashiest cover in the Double Helix series thus far. It is even more abstract than Perfection Unleashed and features curved and concentric rows of dominos arranged in a yin-yang pattern. The yin-yang symbolizes the interdependence of seemingly contrary forces, and the cover emphasizes the duality of the forces at play; light, dark; male, female; fire, ice. Two hands—one male, the other female (representing the two contenders for Danyael’s empathic power)—are poised to push at the dominos from either end. The dominos will fall; the question is, will Danyael?

Finally, in Perfect Weapon, the cover shifts from the abstract to the concrete. Weapons abound; first and most obviously, the sniper rifle and person behind the scope of the sniper rifle. Too large to miss are the inhuman forms of the genetically altered super soldiers clustered in front of the Capitol. The scope of the sniper rifle, however, is focused on a lone and seemingly harmless cripple, Danyael Sabre.

Who is the perfect weapon; the remorseless mercenary Zara Itani whose finger tightens on the trigger; the super soldiers that are genetically bred for war, or Danyael Sabre, the alpha empath who can, with a touch, heal or kill?

I had a great deal of fun designing the covers for the Double Helix series, and am eternally grateful to my cover artist, Jason Alexander, who put up with all my bad artistic advice with good grace, and more than compensated for the fact that I failed art in eighth grade. I hope you enjoyed this quick insight into the meaning behind the cover art, and that you’ll also enjoy reading the novels as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Author Bio:

Jade Kerrion unites cutting-edge science and bioethics with fast-paced action in her award-winning Double Helix series. Drawing rave reviews for its originality and vision, and described as “a breakout piece of science fiction,” Perfection Unleashed, and its sequels, Perfect Betrayal and Perfect Weapon, are available in print and e-book through Amazon and other major retailers.

About The Double Helix series: 

His genetic code sourced from the best that humanity offers, Galahad embodies the pinnacle of perfection. When Zara Itani, a mercenary whose abrasive arrogance exceeds her beauty, frees him from his laboratory prison, she offers him the chance to claim everything that had ever been denied him, beginning with his humanity.

Perfection cannot be unleashed without repercussions, and Galahad’s freedom shatters Danyael Sabre’s life.

An alpha empath, Danyael is rare and coveted, even among the alpha mutants who dominate the Genetic Revolution. He wields the power to heal or kill with a touch, but craves only privacy and solitude—both impossible dreams for the man who was used as Galahad’s physical template.

Galahad and Danyael, two men, one face. One man seeks to embrace destiny, and the other to escape it.

The award-winning Double Helix series, consisting of Perfection Unleashed, Perfect Betrayal, and Perfect Weapon, will challenge your notions of perfection and humanity, and lead you in a celebration of courage and compassion. Science fiction, urban fantasy, and action-adventure readers will enjoy this thrilling roller-coaster ride as it twists and turns through a world transformed by the Genetic Revolution.

Social media and buy links:

Connect with Jade Kerrion: Blog / Facebook / Twitter

Perfection Unleashed: Amazon / Amazon UK / Smashwords

Perfect Betrayal: Amazon / Amazon UK / Smashwords

Perfect Weapon: Amazon / Amazon UK / Smashwords

~*~*~

Jade Kerrion, author,  DOUBLE HELIX Series

=============================================

REMEMBER: To celebrate her launch of Perfect Betrayal and Perfect Weapon, Perfection Unleashed will be available for only 0.99 at Amazon, (down from $2.99) for the duration of Jade's virtual book tour through March 1, 2013

============================================

#ROW80 1^ST QUARTER POST 1 – THE START OF A NEW YEAR AND A NEW ROW

Well, here we are. The start of a new year, a new row, I hope, a tad more energy than what I finished out the old year with. I really didn’t intend to be so, well, hum… drum… I really didn’t. But, geeze, when it becomes a chore of Sisyphean and Olympian efforts to grasp at words, form sentences or shape arguments coherently, it really ceases to be any fun at all, and rather than looking forward to trying to craft a cute, funny or even thought-provoking little post, I can barely stand to look at my blank computer screen.

It sits there, mocking me, just running its happy little SETI arrays, as if to say “Looky! Looky at me! I can work! Ha Ha! See me! Ha ha. Ho ho!” Well, at least the arrays are pretty to look at and somebody is doing something in this house; look at the bright side!

2013 is already better than 2012. For one thing, we have a cat. Mama-kitty wasn’t too keen on the fireworks, but they were pretty to see. There were a couple of small planes circling around and around during the fireworks; probably very cool to see all the different venues from that high up. Of course, being me and hating the whole flying thing (pilot parents’ genes be damned) I expected full-on mid-air collision directly over my head, and couldn’t watch the pretty boom-booms, not that I can really see stuff, anyway. But, I could hear them! I couldn’t even enjoy my general visual impression; I had to worry about those damn planes up in the air!

I want to thank Jade for letting me host her book tour. It is an honor and she is a wonderful author and a wonderful person. As I was testing the link to each of the sellers' sites, I was able to read the more in-depth plot summaries of each of the Double Helix series books. What an imagination and what brilliance, intricacy and depth, Jade has brought into her world! I urge everyone to read these books! She has wrought a series packed with situations and dilemmas that we all are facing and for which we are currently struggling to find answers for. I'm very much looking forward to reading the entire series, and again, it's been an honor, and a real treat to host her here on Homeless Chronicles in Tampa!