Friday, January 1, 2016



Here in the Land of Nod (by which I mean, the nodding junkies at the bus stops), we have much to celebrate, and even if we didn't, we'd celebrate anyway, 'cause that's what we do down here in da 'hood! We are gifted this year with the Perfect Storm of 1) Pay day (on the 31st, rather than the 3rd, as that falls on a Sunday, and the 1st is a Holiday and Federal Law dictates we be paid on or before the 3rd), 2) New Year's Eve on a Thursday, 3) Friday is New Year's Day and 4) there are still 2 whole days to celebrate/shoot up/become comatose/whore/pimp/drink/commit various crimes/ and shoot lots and lots of guns, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I've probably left out a few things, but, you get the picture.

Me? I ran like hell to the bank on Thursday, got my rent money, a few items to tide myself over until Monday, and prepared to wait out the siege. I was not disappointed. I shut off the living room that is the front part of the house, and kept Mama and I in the back. I figured I could count the bullet holes in the wall come daylight. This house is basically held together by many layers of paint, seeing as how the termites ate every viable piece of wood ages ago, so I'm pretty sure even with oh, say, 197 coats of paint on this fucker, it's not going to stop an AK-47 round, every celebrant's go-to choice of noisemaker around here. Someone once suggested we “pressure wash” the thing, and we all fell down laughing. Only if one wants to make it easier for the peeping toms and voyeurs.

The other great thing about da 'hood is they don't just celebrate New Year's Eve. They celebrate the 54th of January, too. Just a while ago, I heard a “pop-poppoppop-pop...pop” and then “oops!” I did not go to see what the “oops” was. No one started shrieking and there were no sirens and helicopters, so, it couldn't have been very dire.

Tomorrow, I'll get up early, tear into some Mendelsohn, while everyone nurses a hangover, or is still drunk, as the symphony starts again come Tuesday. In the meantime, Happy New Year, everyone, from my 'hood to yours!

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