There
are some reasons I have this picture of the beautiful Jade Kerrion
and her books where I would normally
display #ROW80.
First, there's no #ROW80 going on, although when I first started
#ROW80, I just kept on going. Second, when I uploaded the HTML code, for the images you see to the right there, I found this peculiar box, that could
mean any sorts of things, and being me, I began to play, um fix. I
discovered that the reason the picture does not display is that that
is the equivalent of a “404, not found.” Rather like my head. I
isolated the part of the code that was throwing the “404” error,
and pasted that link into a new browser window. The picture you see
up there is what came up, along with the “404” error. I made a
note and emailed Jade. When the Magic Blog Fairy sets things a-right,
it will be fixed. It wasn't the code; Jade sent me EARLIER a copy of
the the book cover reveal she wished to be used in place of “404. Page Not Found." So, yeah, let's call it a "404-PEBCAK error. Problem Exists Between
Chair And Keyboard.” I will honestly look for any pretext no matter
how slight to get under the hood, when it comes to anything regarding
systems, networking, applications and programming. Just keep the
hardware away from me. I did make a copy and paste of the URL to get
the image you see above; I would NEVER under any circumstances, touch
anyone's code without their permission.
This is the scroll and serif of my viola, Wolf. Wolf was "born" in 1836, just 10 years after the death of Beethoven. I've had him since I was 19 and have never played another viola since, unless it was upon invitation of another player, who wanted to play Wolf. He was made by Guidantus Florenus and is of the Bolognese school of fiddle makers, not the Stradivari and Amati and Guarneri houses. At 15 7/8" which is small for a viola, he's got a huge sound. He was named by a luthier up in Royal Oak Michigan when I had work done on him. Nobody touches him but me, capisce? It's like computers, or workmen and their tools, ask first. I wouldn't have cared if it had been freakin' Jascha Heifitz; ask first.
It
is axiomatic among musicians, computer engineers, writers, that OTHER
PEOPLE KEEP THEIR GODDAMNED MITTS OFF MY STUFF! I came out of the
ladies' room, during a break when I was in one of the nameless
thousands of symphony orchestras I played in, to find a Russian
woman, who had played in the first violin section of the Cleveland
Orchestra, playing Wolf. I almost punched her in the eye. I don't get
on other people's computers unless I've been given permission and
only for repairs. I don't change what people write; that is the
intellectual property of someone else. I certainly don't play other
people's instruments, unless invited to do so.
The
other reason, I must admit, is I am lazy and as per usual, it got
hectic around here; when doesn't it? JC was supposed to have his
wrist operated on for squamous cell cancer on Thursday, and the
supplemental insurance company that provides the rides, never showed
up. So, we have to reschedule that, which is so hard on him. He hates
the waiting and is understandably frightened. He has a low pain
threshold, but he wants it over with as well. We called 3 times, and
no one ever showed up. I hate this. When did the world become so
careless? After 7 weeks of wrangling with my psychiatrist's office,
supplemental insurance office, pharmacy and drug-maker, I am finally
back on my anti-depressant, Cymbalta, since Friday. I hope it works
because, Damn! I am sick and tired of crying all the time over what
seems to be nothing.
I
understand that no one has a perfect life, that there are always
bumps and stumbles and just plain driving off cliffs, intentionally
or not. But there have been times recently, when just every stupid,
malicious, mendacious and cowardly act has come back to haunt me. Is
it because I've been depressed? Probably. Is it helping me now? Not
one bit. Fuck guilt. At some point, after all the maudlin wallowing
and all the mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, you have to suck
it up and get back up on that horse.
Yeah,
I am so so sorry, I smoked for about 30 years, but I am not nearly as
bad off as my mom. Could I have done things differently? Why even
ask. Everyone has things they wish they hadn't done. What I have to
do now, is to keep going. And that has been the biggest hurdle for
me, over the last 1 and 1/2 years. Since I have my psychotic break,
and had to deal with tremors and weird sensations, numbness, loss of
sense of smell, drooling. I've been legally blind for almost 10 years
now and I don't even count that a deficit anymore. It's the recent
stuff. The stuff that's slippery and hard to define.
I
have horrible problems with my sugar dropping quickly, precipitously
and within 20 minutes, to the point of dementia. One night I was here
blogging, and I looked at Gina Valley's smiling face and saw God. For
real. I knew it was time for some OJ. I know how to keep it from
dropping, but now it spikes high, higher than it ever has been. 335,
158, 150, 168. WTF? What do I do to counteract that? Eat salt? Buy a
salt lick? A bit more sinister, my white blood cell count is high,
not high enough to think leukemia, or non-Hodgkins lymphoma, but
something else. Having worked in a teaching hospital 35 years ago
gives one just enough knowledge to put me firmly in the trenches with
all the other hypochondriacs.
Comparing
my past blood tests with ABC blood test Company (highly researched)
all of my -cytes and various -leukos and trilobytes are just a teeny
hair off, until we run into eosiniphils. Oops. I guess I've spent
wayyy too much time out of country. Of course, RBC is practically in
the negative range, because, redheads are almost always anemic and I
have fought that since forever. Scratching around in my chart, which
is conveniently online (what asshole thought that was a good idea?
Oh! I know! Someone who clearly has no idea about how computers and
networking works, and that people like me exist) I also discovered
that I carry the diagnosis: childhood
failure to thrive.
That
has got to be the single most depressing thing I've ever read about
myself. Maybe that will teach people like me to keep my nose out of
places it doesn't belong. It is true; I was a preemie, in the days
that few survived, but not by much. I spent 2 weeks in an egg crate I
guess, before my dad took me home, as my mother went back to work. He
took me to class, the bar (where I learned to walk) and took good
care for me. He was the ever-patient father. If I started to fuss and
squawl during his studying, he just fired up the record player,
either some Big Band stuff, or more likely, Beethoven and an-ever
growing list of classical music from Johann Strauss to Tchaikovsky
and Rachmaninov. A lot of you know the rest, so maybe I should just
be damned glad I've had the life I've had, and shut up already. I've
got the coolest friends on the planet, so, I know I still have lots
to do yet. My bucket list is to visit these mega-talented people, in no particular order,
ANDI-ROO, GINA VALLEY, AMBERR MEADOWS, AARON BRINKER, NEYSKA, CATERUSSELL-COLE, ALBERTA ROSS, ROBERT LEE HAYCOCK, Baking-in-a-Tornado,
Sundae Rye, YumaBev, Nancy Cooper, Cyndee Bowen, That DJPARIS guy, (who has apparently been booted from some kind of men's support group--sounds like me) and a bunch of other people that I just can't think of right now.
They are probably heaving a sigh of relief. A visit from me is like a
visit from a batch of confused Mongols, only slightly more polite; emphasis on the slightly. Nancy is about the only one of this fine batch of folks who blog and write books for a living who does not have a blog, but she is a first-rate writer and a wonderful, dear friend.
Anyway,
while I was tap-dancing through whatever that was, Jade and I were
emailing back and forth madly (okay, it was one email and an answer.) She had already sent me a picture of
PERFECTION UNLEASHED. I uploaded it and away it went! Her books are
awesome. She is awesome! For the next week, starting tomorrow, to
help Jade Kerrion celebrate and launch the release of the FOURTH book
in her DOUBLE HELIX SERIES, I will be posting a couple of the
interviews that she put together. One is with the author, Jade, and the
other is with Zara Itani, one of the stars of the DOUBLE HELIX
series.
When
I read the interviews, I was originally asked to choose one, but was
so taken with both, I asked Jade if I may run them both. She readily
agreed and for more than one or two days. I hope you have as much
fun reading them as I did, and don't hesitate to leave comments for
her. All of her contact info is to the right of this post – I've
“tailored,” (read mutilated) this template so many times, we're
lucky to have words to read. You also have the chance to purchase her
e-books .99 (discounted from 2.99.)
Congratulations
and kudos are due Jade. She is a marvelous writer and a wonderful
person and I wish her every success in her book launch and subsequent blog and book tours.
2 comments:
So sorry to hear of all your troubles. Hope things look up soon.
You are so kind and sweet to say so. Honestly? I probably couldn't work my life any other way; let's just say, that as in the IT world, it's all just one big work-around, or patch. We're only here for a while, anyways. Thanks for stopping by! Mary xoxox
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