Sunday, September 18, 2011

SHIT I FOUND ON THE SIDEWALK, HAPPY ACRES FACTOIDS AND NEWS

I've noticed a peculiar tendency here at Happy Acres, one that the inhabitants (inmates?) seem to cultivate over time. I do not remember doing this in the "outside" world, or observing others doing this, with the exception of my mother, who always thought a trip to the dump was a fun time.

I'm not sure why we do this here. It may be an urge to fight boredom, an itch to create something pretty in a not so pretty environment (bug-infested shithole?) or an attempt to acquire things, after losing all. Or, it could be a much more mundane reason; wonder and guessing about how the object ended up where it was found, and/or just, plain fun.


Without any further ado, or pontificating, here we go.


Some pirate lost his eye patch?  And a Klingon earring?


I Bring Peace Unto the Sidewalk



"Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez"

Yeah, it's always rollin' here on Nebraska Avenue

 Oh, is that what they're doing out here?


These were ugly when they were new and un-beat up



The Key to My Heart? Or Key Times Heart ? Or Key, Hideous Object with Sinister Runic stuff, and Tacky Heart Earring?


Off the reservation? Or where's the rest of the vehicle?


The 400 Hail Marys and 953 Our Fathers were too much? Or the Pope Mobile came through here?


Looks to me like He's living on the Sidewalk. . .


Tiny Bicycle Seat? Or a slug?


Oh, a scrunched nickel... How in the hell did this happen?



A Happy Acres philosophy? A True Optimist? Or a rare view of an empty shot glass on Nebraska Avenue?

Whatever the philosophy, the mindless cheerfulness of this amuses me. This will be a continuing feature, as we collect more shit and document it. We may collect so much that we can house it and offer tours. No, the bedbugs would cut into the house gate.

Speaking of which, I heard a delightful fact about bedbugs the other day. It seems that there's a new breed, or model, or whatever that can shrink down and become so minute, that they can just walk right into your body through your pores. No shit. The housie who told me this must have just received her Entomology degree and wanted to share. Can't wait for members of the Wasp family to develop this trait. 

Maybe someone at Happy Acres could distill the bedbug juice and develop a super power. Bedbug Man to the rescue! Then, he could join the League of Superheroes with all the other super hero rejects. The authors of these two websites are much more imaginative than I; check them out and tell me if I should develop a new serial for Bedbug Man: http://blogzarro.com/2007/04/lame-superhero-of-the-week-matter-eater-lad/ and http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/382834/. Bus Man might be a possible, but I can't imagine what kind of super power he'd have. The ability to keep his or her sanity?

Going back and reading over my posts, I realized that I did not really finish this one. I, in my artless, hurry-it-up fashion just sort posted in mid-post. So, let me add this: 
I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of what's in it. Peace, love and all good things to you all.
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